Purpose Lab Resources

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I discovered, I think one of the biggest parts about stepping into your purpose is that you have to face a lot of the challenges that are in your mind. And so a lot of the limiting beliefs that we have, many of which I was brought from, were many of which were brought from childhood. I had to start to uncover some of the truths about who I thought I was and who I actually am. And when you start to peel back the layers of the beliefs that you thought you held all this time and you actually get to realize who you really are, it takes a lot of hard work and it's a very emotional process. But the liberation and the freedom that comes on the other side of actually stepping into who you are and knowing that you're connecting with people in a way that feels real to you and then allows them to connect more deeply with themselves, that makes everything worth it. And so it was a big process of starting to take away some of the fear and just remember that I'm safe to be who I am in this world.

So one of the biggest challenges that I have faced in my life is having a really tough childhood. And when you are faced with things at a young age in terms of, you know, an alcoholic parent or feeling like you aren't good enough to actually show up in the world the way you're meant to show up, feeling like you're not smart enough, those were stories that consistently lived inside my mind. And I also come from a family of high achievers. And what was interesting for me is when I turned 35, I got to this point where I was in the corporate office. I had my own office. I had gotten the VP title, and I felt so empty inside. And what I realized in that moment was being a VP in this company wasn't actually allowing me to do what I'm really meant to do in this world, which is to be myself. So for me, I had to go through a bottom. I hit a bottom in my life. And coming out of that bottom, I was like, I don't want to ever be like this again. And the right therapy showed up at that time. It was somatic therapy.

We're a couple, so it adds an extra layer of joy and of pain, I will say, to navigate business and personal life. But it's where we get the greatest insights. We can be the most vulnerable, and we've always shown up on screen as being with the community that we're building or with the client. And I think that openness and showing them who we really are helps them realize, we're all the same. So that's the unique proposition that it's wonderful what we're doing as an action, but to do it together is magical, and that's real purpose, is the energy of two souls working together. We were always using sound therapy. We were using visualizations, meditation practices. But it's evolved into small communities that are growing inside of companies. And people who want a break, a shift from what they're doing, we come in and we can give them that shift in very quick periods of time. Once we can realize that we're not the only person in the world that has these thoughts, once we realize we're not the only person in this world that has those doubts, that has those fears, we recognize that life isn't that life is short, that we need to actually take risks. We need to put ourselves out there because this is the lifetime that we're meant to do it.

There was a journey for me. And the journey happens perfectly for every soul. And so, you will be given messages and you will be told things. And if you listen, the right books, the right teachers, the right schooling, the right psychotherapy, the right music, the right partners will show up at the right times. Sometimes it feels like the wrong thing and it's because you're supposed to learn something. So in my journey I could tell you when ABCD EFG, your ABCDFG will be unique but if you're listening to the sign of what to do next and go ask spirit, 'What do I need to know next?' it will show up. Just ask and listen. The other big aspect that can really help you to uncover your purpose is to get a deeper connection to source. So whatever it is for you, God, your higher self, your guides, your angels, whatever it is that you use, how can you tap into that way?

So, the biggest piece of advice that I would have for someone who's still unclear about what their purpose or passion is, is take a small next step. Ask yourself, one of the biggest questions I ask myself every single day is, what do I need to do today to help me get closer to what it is that I want to achieve, even if I don't know what that is? And it might be something incredibly small. It might be a big leap. So, it could be taking care of yourself. It could be going out in nature, getting inspiration or getting a nugget of an idea. It could be writing a poem or writing something that feels inspiring to you. It could be going and taking a course that's really going to ignite you in some new way. That small next step, interestingly, is the biggest action that you can take every day to get closer to your purpose. Because ultimately, if we knew, I think if a lot of us knew what we're actually here to do, it would make us so afraid and so scared to take the next step. So part of this process is just stepping into the unknown, being willing to take that next step and ask yourself, what do I need to do today to get me closer to the next thing that's going to help me feel more happiness, more fulfilled, more joy, and let yourself be guided by that one question every single day. Every single action that you take, big or small, in every single day, is guiding you closer to your purpose.

There's a moment in your journey where you have to trust yourself and you have to lean in to the voices in your head and ask yourself which of these voices is real. Is it the voice that's telling me that I'm not smart enough, that I'm not good enough? Or is it the voice that's telling me that I have something to share, that I have an important message, that I have the ability to connect people in ways that they can't even see yet? And that is the moment that you start to take the risk. There are many voices that run through my head, but the more work that I do on myself, they're starting to become one or the other, one that's driven by fear or one that's driven by positivity or light. If I can turn down the volume on the one that's driven by fear and turn up the volume on the one that's driven by positivity or light, I'm more in my purpose. And I think that's the journey of any soul. Can I be more in the light than in the dark? It's like being really honest with myself about what kind of life I want to live. I want to live a life that actually is listening to this positive voice more than the fearful voice. And we all have it. That's what the human experience is about, having these two voices and how we work with them. The biggest question to ask yourself is, am I doing this from a place of love or am I doing this from a place of f

So two things for me have been really helpful in helping me to uncover my purpose and understand what was holding me back. The first one is somatic therapy. So I've done a lot of group somatic therapy. Somatic therapy is the ability for you to get out of your head and into your physical body to start to understand what are the emotions and feelings that are stuck inside of you that are holding you back from actually taking steps forward. It's amazing to go and do talk therapy, but when you get to go into your body and understand what is stuck and stored in there that you may not even be aware of, you start to unlock the potential of yourself that is not coming from your thinking mind. It's coming from your physical body. Everything starts with your body. And this is where the body keeps score. Your body retains information subconsciously that you don't even know. So you can know a concept, but your body is feeling something different. And until you address the feelings, that's why somatic therapy has been so powerful. We address the feelings going on in our body, because we could talk it and tell you all the right answers. Doesn't mean we're going to act it out.

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Somatic therapy is a body-centered psychotherapy modality that focuses on the mind-body connection to help release stress, trauma, and unresolved emotional issues stored directly in the physical body

For me, it's been psychotherapy. It's been a myriad of a perfect prescription of different teachers, spiritual teachers, different psychotherapists, different types of plant-based medicine, but also at some point landing the information in the real physical world and using it. So, it's been work. So for me, I had to go through a bottom. I hit a bottom in my life. And coming out of that bottom, I was like, I don't want to ever be like this again. And the right therapy showed up at that time. It was somatic therapy. It doesn't mean that the first thing that you should all do is go to somatic therapy. That was my first teacher. And she turned me on to plant-based medicine. And we experimented with that. And this is going back seven years ago. The other big aspect that can really help you to uncover your purpose is to get a deeper connection to source. So whatever it is for you, God, your higher self, your guides, your angels, whatever it is that you use, how can you tap into that way? A lot of people use it through plant medicine. A lot of people go to very spiritual schools like Dela University, which is something that was pinnacle for us both in opening to the greater universe, the greater experience that we're all part of.

When I turned 35, I got to this point where I was in the corporate office. I had my own office. I had gotten the VP title, and I felt so empty inside. And what I realized in that moment was being a VP in this company wasn't actually allowing me to do what I'm really meant to do in this world, which is to be myself. And I realized, I realized a lot of women especially need the encouragement to know that it's okay to have a voice. It's okay to share your truth. It's okay to feel like you're not good enough and do it anyway. So, one of the things that's just recently been happening to me is I've realized that I need to actually share my voice more fully with the world. And I realized that the more truth I can share in my story, in the things that I've struggled with, the more people are actually out there that want to also recognize that's part of their story, too. But we can actually overcome it together. And so, just recently, I started to share my voice more fully with people on social media. And Steve was a huge advocate for helping me be in my light, helping me share my gifts. And what I started to notice was people were resonating. And so many women out there were saying to me, I feel you and I hear you because I have those same thoughts inside my head.

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They also host a meditation club, which is a strong community that's around the world. They meet three times a week in the morning for 30 minutes and really support people in this whole idea of intentional living, conscious leadership, and soul-aligned lifestyle. We use sound and visualization, two modalities that actually slow your brain waves down to the delta state and open to your subconscious mind. We can quiet people's minds. We can use sound and visualization to open ourselves to whatever ideas need to come through. When you're in purpose, you're in alignment with source or you can call it God or you can call it energy, white light above you, higher self, all similar words.

One of the things that we learned during the pandemic is that nobody is taking space in their workday to actually slow down. And when we don't take space in our workday to slow down, it causes us to have deeper levels of anxiety, more stress, and we cannot open to our creative potential and our creative minds. And so what we realized is if we can come into companies for 30 minutes and be a point in their day where they have complete open space. So we've been going into companies for these 30-minute mind sprints and allowing people to take a break, to shut down all of their email, to shut down all of their Slack, and to just come inwards and notice what can open when they allow themselves to take that pause. And what we're realizing is that the most incredible realizations are coming from these 30-minute containers where we go into companies and allow people to just take space. Every single human is the same. We all just need space to be able to open to our creativity and our potential. It's baked in our name. Interestingly, pause. We like to slow people down and then we like to have them expand on the other side.

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It got started in the pandemic where we couldn't connect with people in the same way. And Jen and I were both interested in sound therapy, the use of sound bowls. I have a music background and Jen has been in the meditative space for years. So we started to collaborate. So the way that Pause and Expand is involved in corporate work is to take short periods of time and have people expand as quickly as possible. We were always using sound therapy. We were using visualizations, meditation practices. So if we can come into companies for 30 minutes and be a point in their day where they have complete open space, we use sound and visualization, two modalities that actually slow your brain waves down to the delta state and open to your subconscious mind. So you get to unlock a lot of the ideas, a lot of the stress and anxiety that's being held in your physical body. We can quiet people's minds. We can use sound and visualization to open ourselves to whatever ideas need to come through. That's where the magic is happening.