Purpose Lab Resources

Growing up, there used to be a choking feeling, a real tightness within me, because I had this awful thought that I could not bear dying and not knowing it all. I don't know what it all was, but I had this feeling, I've got to know something, and it would be terrible. So it wasn't knowing something, it was remembering something that was the choking feeling. I have to remember, and when I did remember, that feeling went away. It's difficult to articulate and pinpoint one thing, but all of these books that I'd been reading, I mean from 15, I was reading esoteric books, and I would have this feeling about books. I'd say, 'Nope, nope, that one's not right. Yep, I'll take that. Something there.' I didn't know how I knew that.

I'm a shameless sharer. That's my passion and purpose. I love gathering knowledge, finding truths, and sharing them with people, and sharing people with people. All my life, I've been interested in searching for knowledge. There's a truth that I was trying to find. I knew something was out there somewhere, but I thought my life was about me and the ambitions that I had.

I'm a great believer in self-knowledge. I think to know thyself is one of the most important things that we can do when we're here. I was always very curious about things like astrology, numerology, palmistry, human design, Gene Keys, all of the tools that can help us know who we are because we might have ideas, we might have inklings, but we're trained to be so, certainly in England, you don't push yourself forward, you don't have big ideas, you don't big yourself up. Who are you to be thinking those things? And so we push those things aside. But when we start studying astrology or numerology or human design and we get the confirmation of certain things, that is the first thing I think that people should be doing, know thyself in whatever way that's going to come to you. Find out what your skills are, and ask other people. We're so afraid of asking someone, tell me what you see in me. Tell me what you know about me that I don't know about myself.

I told my mother at the age of four that I was going to be a famous writer. I don't know how a child would even know what a famous writer is, but I knew that I wanted to write. I knew books were in my life, and I was going to write lots of books and become very famous. And I did. I had some fame. I knew that books were in my future. I knew that I wanted to write. I didn't know how that was going to happen. My mother was a single parent with five children she had to take care of, and what she wanted me to do was to go out and get a job. And she wanted me to be a typist. And even when I started writing books, she couldn't get her head around the fact that I wasn't a typist. Every time I spoke to her, she'd say, 'Have you got lots of typing to do this week?' and I'd say yes. She didn't know what I was typing was writing books.

What I didn't realize until much later is that I actually had a very good connection with my inner GPS, my inner guidance system. And I used to think that it was, I've studied body language, so I'm just reading people, or I've studied NLP or psychology, I'm reading people. I was reading people in a whole other way. And it became clear to me one day when, as an editor, I'm very good at spotting typos. And I remember standing in the doorway of a client whose book I was writing. We'd just come into the room and I looked at his screen and said, 'There's a typo there.' And he said, 'How do you do that? How do you know that? You're on the other side of the room.' And I thought about it, and I used an NLP technique to discover how do I do that, and I realized that what's going on is that my eyes are seeing a pattern that is not correct. And it's as if my brain, in speeded-up time, goes inside, what's wrong? What's not correct? And I have a feeling in my tummy that tells me something's out, something's not right. And so this ability, and it is something that I've learned, is an amazing sixth sense. I know when someone isn't telling the truth. I know when they're not being authentic. I know when something isn't right. And I know it because I have what I call a typo in my tummy. So I've learned to recognize this quiet voice or feeling in my gut that says, 'Pay attention. Pay attention.' So yeah, my typo in my tummy is my inner guidance.

Up until my late 30s, early 40s, it was still, to a large part, about me becoming this famous writer. That was a hard road, very hard road, because I was the wrong class. I didn't have the resources to be able to do that. And one day, I had a download, and it's too long to go into now, but out of that download came the understanding that it really wasn't about me. It was about remembering something that I knew and had forgotten, and I had to find that. I had to go and research and read and do as much discovery as I could. And then, a few years later, I realized that I had remembered. I remembered what was important and what I was here to do, and that is to share, to find knowledge, to help other people remember who they are. In 1987, which was the year of the harmonic convergence, and I didn't know that until much later, something happened at some point and I realized that all of this looking that I was doing for something out there, it went away, that feeling. And it was, I know what I need to know, which is that we are so much more than we think we are.

A lot of people say they don't know what their calling is. But I think we do. We just don't recognize the clues. If we go back to childhood and think about what was it that made our heart sing, what was the thing that gave us the most joy within, then we will find that there is something, whether it's dancing, whether it's singing, whether it's writing as it was for me, whether it is something else. There are pointers. But if we can push that aside and say, 'Who am I? What do I want? What makes my soul sing?' we will find what our purpose is. Because the feeling that we get when we live in our purpose is so different than the feeling we have when we're not. I think it's alignment. I think it's a connection to our soul, to our higher self. When we become fully aligned, it's such a joyful feeling. It's such a natural feeling. I can rest in this kind of feeling. It's a knowingness, it's getting into alignment.

But once I knew that I had to come to America, which was a huge thing, it meant leaving my children, my family, my mother, everything. It was scary as hell, but I knew I had to do this. So I just said to the universe, 'Okay, well, I'm not going anywhere cold.' So after that moment, once I said yes, everything, and I mean everything, fell into place for me. Everything happened by sheer synchronicity. I went to Canada. I was staying with my sister. Before I went to Canada, there had been two job opportunities that arose, and I knew I had to get a work permit to get into America. I didn't have a degree, but after a period of showing the authorities what I had done throughout my career, they gave me the go-ahead because I had the equivalent experience that they were looking for. I was interviewed recently by somebody who has written a book about synchronicity and is studying it. And I think you cannot divide synchronicity from intention. I think intention is part of the magnetic attraction to draw things to you. Thoughts are electric, emotions are magnetic, and I think that synchronicity happens when you believe that it can happen. When you believe you can have what you want and that things are just going to show up for you.

I think that once I had this understanding, that I was trying to remember something, my entire career focus changed. I realized that I had work to do on myself, that I had been chasing fame for all the wrong reasons, and that it wasn't going to give me what I'd been looking for. And I knew that I had to go within, spend some time working on me, and reevaluating what I wanted in my life. And out of that came this absolute knowing that I had to go to America. I had to go to America because I was going to find something there that was going to be pivotal in helping me move forward in whatever it was I had come to do. At that point, I didn't realize that what I'd come to do was to share, to connect people with information and knowledge.

And it was, I know what I need to know, which is that we are so much more than we think we are. That we are amazing, energetic, infinite beings. That we are part of everything and each other. That's what I was trying to remember. I think we're all creative beings. I think that if we are sparks of God, consciousness, the universe, whatever you want to call it, then we have exactly the same talent, skills, facilities. We can create magic. We can create. And I think that we just have to believe we do. I needed to believe that I had that ability, and I think that's why I built those three things into that visualization. And I've created so many things since that people would say that's impossible. You can't achieve that. And I've done it. And we all have the ability. We just have to believe that we are creative beings.

Books have been such a huge part of my life. I couldn't imagine a life without books. I've always been an avid reader. I help people write books. I've written books of my own. I love to help people tell the stories that they feel they would like to share with the world. I edit. I judge books. I read a lot of books because I also interview a lot of people, and that is a wonderful way of keeping books in my life, of serving this desire in me to know everything. I also started the No BS Spiritual Book Club, and this was something that I felt was becoming a necessity for people because there are so many books being published, especially spiritual books. There are so many people waking up looking for answers. They don't know where to find them. And there's an awful lot of books out there that are, quite frankly, just fluff. So I wanted to find what are the most important books. And I'd interviewed so many people that I decided I would ask them what were the 10 books that influenced them the most on their life journey, because if people could relate to these authors, these spiritual teachers, and the books that they read that changed their life, they would be more inclined to find the ones that were going to change their lives.

I found a book that fell, literally fell. We hear this so many times, where books just fall off bookshelves in a secondhand bookstore. A book about the Silva Method of Mind Control. And I decided this is what I'm going to master, and that job is mine. So for two weeks, every night I practiced, but I decided that I wanted to know for certain that it was me that had created this. So I built three things that were unlikely into this visualization. Every night I would do the same visualization, same three things. So when I got to America, I was sitting in this guy's office at 8:00 in the morning and we were talking, and at 10:00 he suddenly said, 'You've got the job.' That was the first thing that I built into this. So then he asked his secretary to get their attorney on the phone, how are we going to do this? You're going to be here for another couple of hours while we work out the logistics. And then about an hour later, he said to me, 'Let's go to lunch.' That was the second thing I'd built into it. And after lunch, the third thing that I'd built into it happened when he said, 'I'm going to drive you around San Diego, so you can see your new home.' So I went back to the hotel, and I thought, 'Yes, I've done it. I'm a creator.'