Self-Reflection

It feels like it started around when I was 14, so eighth grade. I began to feel like there was something missing in my life. I seemingly had everything, a loving family, great health, and I just happened to have the constitution to do well in school. But my life kind of felt a bit flat, and I began to wonder if I had ever known true happiness, if I loved myself, if I knew myself. Thus began a period of a lot of questions and reflecting, both internally and externally. I was also asking what makes a person a good person or a bad person, and where these ideas of good and evil come from. What is this all like, what is reality, what is real, what is not. It kind of made me realize that maybe there is no difference, maybe it is all just however you perceive it. For me, I like to tune into whatever is. That includes noticing what it feels like to feel out of flow, what it feels like to feel like I am trying to be someone I do not actually feel like. I am curious about that experience. This is in the vein of meditation, noticing with neutral curiosity or a sense of non judgment whatever it is that I am experiencing.