Life-Changing Event

I went through about a five year winter soon after my very existential period when I was about 15. It was weird because while I was having all these realizations, there was actually a moment of ego death, of feeling like the world dropped beneath me. I remember sitting on the hill behind my house, and I had just watched Inception. There is a quote about how an idea can take root in your mind. The idea in the movie of what if you are dreaming and then you wake up to a more real reality, and how you never really know. I was sitting there looking at my hometown of DC, and it was almost like the meaning was drained out of everything. I felt gross and scared about everything, like what if nothing means everything and nothing means anything, and I do not know what anything is. But then it led to rebirth, and I started literally doing whatever I felt like doing. I felt like I was seeing the world through new eyes. If I do not know anything, then all there is is this. And that is beautiful. All there is is this moment.